The Dangers of Maturity
by ZuEra
Summary: Truth. It's an uncommon word in high school, but how was Ferb supposed to know that? He finds himself depressed and lonely, and there's only one thing that releases his pain...Prequal to The Busy Berry's "The Danger's of a Bully". T for really dark themes
1. Chapter 1

**Okay, so this is _The Dangers of Maturity_, but before you read this, I reccomend that you go and read _The Dangers of a Bully_ (written by The Busy Berry), becuase this is the prequal (what happens before it). While it wouldn't ruin this story if you read mine first, it would ruin the effects of _The Dangers of a Bully_. But whatever you decide to do, be sure to come back here to read this story as well. Enjoy :)**

***Disclaimer: I do not own the characters used in this story, nor do I claim to in any of the chapters.**

The Dangers of Maturity

Prequel to _The Dangers of a Bully_

Chapter 1

As much as they had wished it to be, both of them knew that life could never go back to being a simple summer vacation for children. They _weren't_ children anymore.

The first day of his freshman year, the green-haired fourteen-year-old pondered the changes that had occurred since those summer days. He wasn't the same person. The color black had grown on him a bit since those days. He wished for the past, but faked happiness… once in a while, at least.

Dressing himself in a simple purple shirt and black jeans, he slipped on his converse tennis shoes and headed to the bathroom to ready himself for the day. Entering the shower room shared between himself and his stepbrother, Phineas, he greeted his brother with an empty canvas-of-a-face.

"Hey, Ferb," Phineas smiled, and put some gel into his bright orange hair, "You ready for high school?"

Ferb didn't need to use words to reply; Phineas could decide for himself, and more times than less, he was correct. Phineas' smile fell when his brother expressed nothing. But he would make an effort to get him happy.

"Yeah, me too, man," he beamed, pretending not to notice the darkness his brother felt; determined to get some sort of smile, or anything for the matter, from Ferb, "It's gonna be awesome. Me and you, making the big time!"

Ferb gave a small nod. He was ready for "the big time".

"Well come on, Ferb," Phineas grinned, tugging his wrist, "Isabella's gonna get here any time. We have to eat!"

"Breakfast is the most important meal, they say," Ferb added wisely. That would most likely be all that he would say for the day. He liked it that way—leaving it up to everyone else to decide what he meant by his subtle facial expressions.

"You bet it is, bud," Phineas nodded before sliding down the railing into the kitchen. Ferb followed.

"How many times has mom told you guys _not _to do that?" Candace rolled her eyes.

"A time too less, I suppose…" Phineas pondered honestly.

Ferb took a bite of cereal and pushed the bowl away.

"Freshman year got your nerves, Ferb?" Phineas asked.

Ferb shrugged. Yes. In all ways yes.

The doorbell rang, drawing Phineas from the table and to the door where he met his fair-skinned girlfriend, Isabella.

"Hi guys," she greeted, walking through the door, "Oh, I love your outfit, Candace."

"Thanks," Candace replied.

"Come on guys, the bell rings at eight," Isabella reminded them, and they wandered out the door in a crowd.

"Now everyone, I feel the best way to get to know each other on our first day of high school," the English teacher began, "is to first know yourself. Everyone take out a piece of paper and write down your deepest thoughts. Scratch that… write a letter… a letter about yourself, to nobody, though. You don't have to give it to anyone if you don't want to."

Ferb followed the directions, taking a mechanical pencil and college-ruled paper and laying them on his desk. He began to write:

_To whoever reads,_

_I suppose that my deepest feelings are those of adventure. But things seem different than before. I can't just make a bunch of machines in my backyard like I used to. I don't think Phineas would even want to any more. Maybe it's just me…_

_People so often ask me why I stay quiet. One reason is because I feel that words are useless. Words can tell lies, but the expression on a person's face can't. Another reason, is because I'm afraid what people would say. If I say something stupid, then what will they think? Words can make people hate you, or look down upon you. Words can make other people's opinions of you change, or make their first impression of you be that you're just a dipstick. I'm afraid… I'm afraid that people will think of __me__ that way. So I just stay quiet. _

_-Ferb_

He quickly wrote his name at the bottom when the teacher announced that almost the entire second half of the class had been dedicated to this. Looking at the clock in shock, Ferb saw that indeed, the class was over. He stuffed the piece of paper in his pocket; no one was ever reading that cheesy piece of crap.

At lunch that day, it seemed that it was all going to work out quite nicely for their little group. They all sat together around a circular table on the outdoor cafeteria. First Isabella, and to her left Phineas, next to Phineas was Ferb, and then lastly Baljeet. Buford had become a rare appearance around them lately, having become what a true bully was portrayed as.

They laughed and talked of how fast life was going. Phineas made several remarks of how glad he was that they had all stuck together. Baljeet quietly added that he was glad Buford's prey had expanded beyond just him, so that he had a little time to himself.

"We all grew up so fast," Isabella commented, and the group agreed, "I mean, I feel like it was yesterday that I was popping into your yard being all 'watch'ya doing?'…"

Each of them laughed and the conversations continued. The few worries Ferb had of high school disappeared; he felt better now.

Different worries later flooded him when he reached into his pocket to check for the letter to no one, and found that it was gone. It had dropped from his pocket! Panic filled him as he wondered if anyone had found it, and if so, who it was. Would they come to him and say that they hadn't read it, or read it in a microphone to the whole school? He searched frantically around the hallway that he was in, and in the next one over. Realization of how large the whole school was hit when he reached the third hallway with no success. There was no way that he could search all three floors and both buildings. There was no way at all.

He began to calm down when by the end of the day, no one had come up to him and laughed in his face, or threw the crumpled up thing at him. He sighed in relief, that night, as he crawled into bed. Apparently no one had found it.

That was a lie.

The next morning at school, as he opened his locker, a piece of paper fluttered to the ground. Confused, Ferb picked it up. He felt a bit relieved as he saw that it wasn't his note, but then he read on, and relief was the last thing he felt for a long time.

_Yo Ferb-man, I couldn't help but read your letter from English when I found it. You sound like quite a depressed man. Reasonable, I suppose, since just today I heard Phin saying to some pretty girl not to go out with you cuz you're silence would freak her out._

_Bully_

Ferb stared at the paper. Bully… Someone had found his note, and written back. He expected that this "Bully" had shown the note to people in order to humiliate him, but when all the day, no one said anything, he wondered if Bully had something else in mind.

That day at lunch, Ferb couldn't quite look at Phineas the same way. He had told a pretty girl not to talk to him? Because he was weird? Why would Phineas do that? Ferb didn't bring it up.

The group laughed and talked without even noticing Ferb's sadness. He was sad a lot lately, anyway, so maybe they were used to it… Or maybe…Bully was telling the truth, and they all thought he was weird. No one had ever asked why he became so suddenly distant over these past years… maybe…maybe they just didn't care.

_Bully_

He wrote later that night.

_Maybe you're right. Maybe they don't care._

_-Ferb_

**So basically this is what happened before The Busy Berry's story, **_**The Dangers of a Bully, **_**as already said. There's two more chapters :) enjoy!**


	2. Chapter 2

**I do not own the lyrics to Dear Agony by Breaking Benjamin. I do not claim to own the lyrics. Credits to Breaking Benjamin**

Chapter 2

F_erb-yo, _

_told you. _

_Bully_

They didn't care. The truth sunk in, but not gently. It felt like tiny daggers seeping through him, but nevertheless, it sunk in. He skipped breakfast that morning, and didn't have much of an appetite at lunch. The others asked him what was wrong.

"Ferb, you seem a bit down," Phin patted his back, "You okay?"

Ferb didn't answer, and reluctantly took a bite of his apple. With that he walked away.

"Who got his panties in a bunch?" Buford, on one of his rare visits, asked as he approached the group.

_Ferb-de-Ferb, overheard a rumor from your "friends" that you killed you original mom. You really that big a monster?_

_Bully_

Of course he didn't do that. Why on earth would he… he…

Tears burned in his eyes at the thought of his passed mother, but he would not let them fall. He would never, _ever _do such a thing! She was like his best friend. Linda was great, but it wasn't the same… Phineas was still the best friend he could ever want…or at least…Ferb had thought he was.

He wanted to confront them. He wanted so badly to go up to them and ask them why they would say such a thing. But he was too badly hurt, and too badly scared.

He took a pen and some paper from the table beside his bed and wrote back.

_I would never do something like that._

_-Ferb_

When he woke up the next morning, the note he had prepared to set in his locker for Bully to receive was gone, and another sat there. He opened it up.

_Yo Ferb, I believe you. But no one that Phin and Isa tell does._

_Bully_

Ferb looked at the floor, and then across the room where Phineas was still asleep. Why would he ever tell someone that? He thought Phin was his friend, much more than that, his brother.

Ferb moved into the guest room that day. He spent the entire weekend in it; not letting anyone in. The first person to see inside of it was Linda, who had to invite herself in to bring Ferb his dinner. Ferb ended up overhearing her tell his father, Lawrence, that the dark posters for bands and messiness of the whole room didn't seem like Ferb, and that she was worried. By the end of the weekend, Ferb received another note.

_Hey hey, your parents pretty much think you're a freak. Guess they finally caught on to the trend. Hate to break it to you. You got anyway to release all the pain you must be feeling? I have some ideas…_

_Bully_

Ferb immediately wrote back, asking what Bully had in mind. He received an answer before the night ended.

_Ferb-io, it's called a knife. Cut yourself or just die. Hm...maybe that'd be better..._

_Bully_

Ferb stared blankly at the paper for a long time. Bully wanted him to…cut himself? No… he shook his head; no, he wouldn't do it. His left hand snatched the note card sized paper from the right, but the way that the paper slid from his hand broke through his skin. A small gasp escaped his mouth at the sharp and quick pain from the paper cut, but then, release. He felt what Bully was talking about… it felt good.

Eagerly, almost frantically, Ferb searched for something else. He looked around the room desperately, until his gaze settled on a piece of colored glass that he had made recently in art.

"This is it…" he whispered to himself, nearing the blade to his wrist. He closed his eyes, still fearful of the pain, and slid the glass across his skin. Another gasp, and the stinging pain lasted longer this time. But he liked it, he liked it a lot. Now his eyes closed in embrace, and he felt freedom. He ran his finger along the cut, causing slight irritation, and felt the blood flowing from the wound. He sighed. Release.

_Bully,_

_I didn't use a knife. Just some glass. _

_But you were right. It helped. A lot._

_-Ferb_

The brutal notes continued. Ferb didn't even talk to Phineas or Isa anymore.

"Ferb, why don't you come around any more?" Phineas asked him sadly, "We miss your company, and we're worried. Everyone's worried."

_You mean you miss watching me do things that you can spread rumors about,_ he wanted to say.

"Answer me, man, come on," Phin begged, "I need some answers."

Ferb shrugged.

"Ferb, please," Isabella put her hand on his shoulder, but he shook it off, "We want to help."

_Help me die…_

"You aren't yourself anymore, Ferb," Phineas continued, "We want you back…"

Ferb shook his head and turned away. He had to get to class…

Alone in his room, Ferb wanted to get out his feelings. He took out a piece of paper and a pencil, and began to write a serious song.

_Dear Agony_

He scribbled thoughtfully, trying to talk to this "thing" that had consumed his life. He hated it. He hated it so badly. He wanted to destroy Agony and everything that came with it.

_Just let go of me_

Let go... that was exactly what he wanted it to do; no, he wanted it to let go of him and feel the pain that it had caused him. To hurt and feel like he did.

_Suffer slowly_

_Is this the way it's gotta be?_

The "note" turned from commanding to begging. Anything, _anything _to make whoever was in charge of this make it go away. He wanted the happiness to come back . He wanted summer as a ten-year-old again. He wanted Phineas to stop saying terrible things about him. Wasn't there anything that anyone could do? Bully was his only company, and he didn't even know who Bully was.

_Don't bury me_

_Faceless enemy_

_I'm so sorry_

_Is this the way it's gotta be?_

_Dear Agony..._

His hands had been shaking intensely as he wrote, and his brow furrowed in the pain that he felt as he expressed himself.

_Leave me alone_

_God let me go_

_I'm blue and cold_

_Black sky will burn_

_Love pull me down_

_Hate lift me up_

_Just turn around_

_There's nothing left._

Ferb breathed heavily, calming down a bit.

_Something far beyond this world..._

He wrote it much calmer than the rest, but the pain still was inside of him, it was just isolated now.

_...I feel nothing anymore..._


	3. Chapter 3

"Happy birthday, Ferb!" Lawrence patted his son on the back, "Fifteen at last, aye old bud?"

"Sure, Dad..." Ferb replied dryly.

"Well you know your party is tonight," he continued, "Candace has been beside herself planning it for you and your brother."

_Great._

"Considering how long you've been in your room you might want to start getting ready," Lawrence called after him, but Ferb was already out the front door. He was going somewhere that no one would disturb him. Walking out into the backyard, he went to the spot he hadn't sat in for years. Sitting under the tree in the backyard, Ferb did nothing for the rest of the day until Linda arrived home from work and told him to get dressed for his and Phineas' party. With a shrug, Ferb followed her instructions as Isabella arrived only ten minutes early. He entered his room, but never bothered to come out for the party, because a note from Bully had been waiting on his bed, and assured him that these people were only here for Phineas.

_Birthday Bum, you really going to that party of yours? They ain't here for the popular guy's depressed brother!_

_Bully_

Ferb sighed and picked up his shard up glass, removing his long-sleeved black shirt. So many people had come here today, but none for him. They didn't care about him. No one did. He brought the glass to his upper left arm, writing on it the word "CARE" in large letters. Angry and depressed, he slashed an line under the word. Blood came slowly from the wounds, too slowly. Ferb squeezed the skin around the cuts, forcing blood from them. It wouldn't have been needed; red stained his arm and leaked endlessly down it. Ferb felt slightly dizzy, and reluctantly clotted the blood flow to "save his life", even though he wondered why it even mattered. Next time, maybe he wouldn't. If things didn't get better...

A few times during the party, Ferb thought he heard Phineas knock on the door. He ignored it, of course, because he didn't want to go out there just to be ridiculed.

"C'mon, Ferb," Phineas begged at one point, "You can here the music out here. I know you have the urge to dance."

Ferb had always been a great dancer, and it was true that at one point, maybe, no definitely, he would have gone right out to dance. But he wasn't like that anymore. He was wiser, now, and knew that if he went out and danced, people would only talk about him.

Phin didn't try to get him out of the room again, and even though he would have just pushed him away, Ferb wished that he would come back... just to here the voice of someone who at least pretended to care. Ferb still loved his brother. He knew that no matter how depressed he got, no matter how many terrible things Phin had done to him, that would be the one thing that never changed. But the party passed, along with the next few months.

It seemed like before Ferb could blink, the cold October winds were blowing leaves through Danville.

"Halloween," Isabella said nervously to Phineas, "My favorite holiday."

"And why is that?" Phineas wondered.

"How many times to I get to go from a sweet, cheerful, Girl Scout to," she paused, making her voice dark, "Queen Comet from 'Stained Red'?"

"That films a little bit…creepy," Phineas replied hesitantly.

Isabella smirked, "Aren't you a little old to get freaked out by R rated films?"

Phin sighed, "Yes, yes I am. This is why I'm going to bring out the old superhero costume from the good old days—Multi-Man! I can fill it out better now."

"You kept that?"

"The cartoon had so many fans; it was like a keepsake," Phin laughed, but turned sad, "Ferb used to love Halloween…" he grinned, "I bet this'll bring out a smile from old Ferb."

But Ferb had something else in mind for his Halloween evening. They were all so intent on seeing him? Well he would give them something to see. He would come around and hang with the family and his "friends" and let them see just how "fun" hanging around with him was when he was depressed.

_Ola Ferb_

Obviously Bully hadn't studied up on Spanish spellings…

_Happy Halloween. Gonna come out of your coffin and freak us all out with your costume? Oh…that was your face without make-up that I saw today? My bad._

_Bully_

Ferb shook his head with a sigh… Bully wanted make-up? Fine.

Searching for some cash, Ferb went out to do some shopping. He returned home and closed himself into his room. Searching through the things that he had bought, he first put on a long sleeved shirt with black and gray stripes. Over that, a short sleeved black shirt was layered. In the center of the shirt there was a dark red heart that was bleeding and torn. Black skinny-jeans came next with Converse after them. Ferb stretched a black, netted glove over his right hand, and put on the finished touches: black lipstick and some gray powder under his eyes.

The last thing he did was grab his old electric guitar and sling its strap over his shoulder. Looking at himself in the mirror, he decided that his gothic rock star costume would be enough to freak people out, and also that the shirt was cool, and wouldn't just be costume wear.

"Ferb," there was a knock at the door; Candace, "Are you coming out? Please come out…"

Ferb rolled his eyes and opened the door. Candace jumped, bringing a satisfied grin to the green-haired boy. Ferb said nothing and walked past his shocked sister (who was dressed as a lady vampire).

"Nice costume, Ferb," Phineas beamed, just happy to see his brother in the first place, "That, uh…that is a costume right?"

Ferb nodded his head backwards towards the guitar on hi back.

"Oh I get it," Phin nodded, "you're a zombie rock star."

_Close enough._

"Well look, buddy, I'm just glad you're coming around."

Linda didn't have quite the same reaction.

"Ferb Charles Fletcher what on Earth are you wearing?" the French-maid mother asked.

Ferb shrugged.

"Please, can't you, you, wear something a little less…uh…terrifying?" she stammered.

"Mom," Phin put his hand on her shoulder, "Just be glad he's here."

Linda bit her lip and headed into the kitchen to ready the food.

Isabella walked through the door at that moment, dressed as an angel, and she seemed to hide behind Phineas.

"H-hey, Ferb," she greeted, "Are you a singer?"

"That's right," Phineas answered for him with an obviously faked smile, "Good old Ferb; always creative…"

Ferb sat right out in the open that night, and only Buford seemed to linger around, only watching him, though, never saying anything. That night after the party, Ferb went to his room, satisfied. He believed that the family understood his message; the Ferb that they knew was gone. No matter how badly they or Ferb himself wanted him back.

Perry followed Ferb up the stairs.

"Hey Perry," Ferb said quietly, but closed his bedroom door on the platypus.

Perry looked to see if anyone was coming, and began to tinker with the door knob, trying to get in. To the animal's dismay, Ferb had locked the door. Of course this created worry in Perry, as he had never been shunned by the boy before. But he sat there outside of the room, and just listened. There was silence, and then a bit of rustling or moving around. The next thing that Perry heard was a sharp gasp, and then a sigh of relief. The animal understood what was happening now, and turned sadly to go back down the stairs.

Ferb looked at his stomach. With his shard of glass, he had drawn out the shape of a teardrop, but put a deep line through it. He put the two shirts back on, and looked at his bed. There was a note.

_Dude, I heard people hated you tonight. You should have just stayed locked up in your room._

_Bully_

Ferb thought this over—Phin had acted awkward, not proud or supportive. And Linda just got upset. No one else other than Buford dared to take a step near him. So it was decided? No more exiting his room except for school and meals. That way no one would have to hate his presence.

Christmas was coming soon, but that didn't matter. Nothing mattered. Forget the love, the joy, the so-called "holiday spirit", forget family, forget feeling. What the heck? Forget life.

Ferb opened his chemistry binder to find a note inside it. It was from Bully, as usual.

_Ferb-trash, why do you stick around? Get a life. Or maybe just end yours…_

_Bully_

Ferb hadn't replied to one of Bully's notes in the longest time. He had collected ten, now. The last three he hadn't replied to, and he didn't plan on replying to this one either. But Bully wrote anyway. Bully didn't need a reply. He kept telling Ferb the things that he needed to know: who was stabbing him in the back, who was looking at him funny, who thought he should just die.

"Hey, Ferb-man," Ferb turned around, horrified. He didn't need a voice to know that this was Bully. But he knew the voice, "Buford found your letter," he talked in third person, "And thought you might like a reply. Why haven't you been writing me back?"

There was no answer from Ferb. He just watched Buford with sad, tired eyes, waiting for him to continue.

"Well," Bully finally went on, "I guess this belongs to you." He threw a paper-ball at Ferb's face. Ferb waited until Buford (or Bully…) was gone to kneel to the ground and pick it up. As his hand grasped it, he saw that two pairs of feet had approached him.

"Hey, Ferb," Phin said hesitantly, but continued with more confidence, "What's that you got?"

When Ferb didn't reply, Phineas turned to exchange glances with Isabella.

"What?" Phineas asked, and again received no answer. Ferb just turned around and walked down the hallway.

"Ferb!" Phineas called after him, and Ferb stopped, looking over his shoulder, "Don't you care that people are worried? Don't you care about Mom? Or me? Did you know that last night Mom was up _crying _about you? I heard her! She was balling her eyes out cuz she found some song that you wrote in your room! She was going on about how 'this isn't her son, this isn't her Ferb'... Well..." he sighed sadly, "Where is our Ferb?"

Ferb turned away down the hall. He wanted to know where their Ferb had gone too...

Ferb was content with just living his life and releasing it later when he was alone. That was a lie… but the release was better than feeling nothing at all… But Phineas would act like he wanted him to feel again.

_Yo there, Ferb, I was just wondering what your opinion is on green hair. No one else seems to like it..._

_Bully_

Ferb took his glass and stabbed it into his right arm desperately; he wanted to feel something. Pain, sickness, worth; they were all welcome! Physical feeling would work too. Another stab into his arm, and then Ferb took the glass to his chest and drew an arrow to where his heart lay beneath his skin, and put to crossing slashes in its path. What did this mean? That his heart was dying too...

He was confronted by Phin that night.

"Why are you always mute? Why can't you just talk to me?"

Ferb wanted to tell him everything, but Phineas already knew, and it wasn't like he cared anyway. Bully was the only one who actually helped. Buford was the one who helped…

Feeling angry and hurt, Ferb turned into his bedroom and closed the door. Phineas and Isabella heard nothing more from him that night but a click of his locking door. He wanted to be alone. Away from his brother, away from everyone. But no matter what happened with Phineas, or what things Ferb did to himself, he loved his brother. He did... He wanted Phineas to live a long happy life, even if he himself couldn't.

**So that's the end. If you haven't already, you should definitely check out **_**The Danger's of a Bully**_**, but The Busy Berry. This story was the prequel to it (hence the kind of cut-off ending), which means that I wrote what happened before The Busy Berry's story. I really hope you enjoyed my story—I had a ball writing it! Thanks for reading my very first Fanfiction, WingsFly**


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